The Sacrifice

Suraya Azimi
Afghanistan
ESOL 173
Fall 2007


“Why do you laugh when you know that monster hates it?” my aunt asked her.“He doesn’t hate only my laughter, but also my life, so should I stop living, too?” She was still giggling while talking. My aunt was dressing the wounds on her body.

I was 12 years old, but I remember it as though it were yesterday. My aunt called me inside the room and told me to help her find a bandage. I found a bandage and gave it to her, but tried not to look up as I did not want to see the wounds again, and I wished I had not seen them at all. Her body was all black and blue.

“Khala![1] I hate your husband. Leave him and go to your father’s house.” “I have to live with this monster. A divorced woman has no dignity in our society,” she replied. “I do not want to get divorced and go live with my father because people will look down on my family, and that will hurt my father’s and brother’s dignity.”

The next day when she came, my aunt was not at home, so she had to wait for her in the living room. I was doing my homework there. I liked that room a lot because it was the largest room in all the building, and it had a big window through which warm sunlight would come inside the room.

“You are so lucky that you can go to school!” she told me. “Did you not go to school at all?” I asked her. “I wish I did. If I could write, I would write my life story so people would learn from it.” I told her if she wanted, I would try to write her life story, but she had to tell me everything and not hide anything. She agreed to my conditions, and made me promise that I would write the story and publish it one day if I ever found the chance.

“First of all, answer me. Why did you marry him?” I asked. “It was decision of the Jerga[2] and I had to accept it. My brother killed the brother of my husband in an argument, and the elders of the tribe called my father to the Jerga. In the Jerga, they all came to an agreement that to compensate for the murder, my father had to give me as bad[3]” she replied.

“When my father arrived home, my mother asked him about the Jerga. He replied that the family of the deceased agreed in the Jerga that if we give bad, they will not kill anyone in our tribe for revenge.” She continued, “My father said that he knew my life would be miserable in their family, but he had no other option because if he hadn’t accepted their condition, they would have taken revenge and killed a member of our family.” Therefore, she had to be sacrificed to stop the bloodshed.

She said that she had been married for twenty years. In those years, her husband never missed any chance to torture her. He would torture her in many ways and somehow send the news to her father. She had never seen her family in the 20 years, but once got a letter from her father, in which he mentioned that he hoped he could help her, and that his pride was more valuable than his own life or anyone else’s life to him.

She said she knew that there was nobody who cared about her, except her four children. She wanted to live only because of her children, and she did not want to give up. Her only wish was to see her children be well educated and get married. She said that she was very happy that she did not have any daughters, and also because her sons would not follow their father because they hated him. My aunt came and interrupted our conversation.

That was the last time I saw her. We moved from that house to another, and I had totally
forgotten her . One day, after 4 years, I was visiting my friend, who was living near our old house. My classmate and I were walking toward her house when my classmate stopped by a grave to pray. She finished her prayer and asked me to pray at that shrine as well. I asked her if that was the grave of her relative because she had stopped to pray there. “It is grave of a woman who was killed by her husband, and she was innocent. Therefore,
everyone comes here and prays for her,” she replied. “What else did you hear about her?” I asked her. “I heard from my mother that her brother died of cancer, so she was crying all day and night begging her husband to let her see her family. He did not let her go, but instead beat her to death. He escaped with his sons to another city.” she told me. “One of my relatives saw him and told us that he is married someone to else now, and his children had run away from him.” she added.

I kept my fingers crossed and prayed for her: “May your soul rest in peace.”


[1]Aunt; due to respect, you do not call women older than you by their name.
[2] Jerga means “council” (It is a community council of elders to solve tribal issues, in which a decision is made based on vote of the majority.)
[3] Bad is a custom that refers to compensating for the murder; the murderer or one’s father/brother has to compensate according to the choice of the victim’s family and decision of the community council (Jerga).